I love my youngest grandson very much. I shouldn't have to say that, but right now I am reminding myself.
He isn't two years old YET, but he is displaying some of the mindset of a two-year-old. You know --- independence, opposition, and methods of getting one's own way that are both wily and darned cute!
Today I babysat. And I think I did a terrible job. He terrorized the dog, threw things around, and screamed 'no' a lot.
I tried to take a firm and calm approach.
The good news --- we made it to the end of the day, still loving each other, still relatively happy. He ate, he slept, he pooped, he played, he danced, he climbed, he hopped, he smiled and laughed a lot.
Maybe I didn't do such a bad job after all...
Friday 13 December 2019
Wednesday 9 October 2019
Young Again? No Thanks.
I guess I'm not young any more. The last time I went to the movies, I was given the Senior price automatically...no questions asked. And I even dye my hair. But that doesn't erase the wrinkles, I guess.
Youth is wonderful. Mom just gave me a picture of me and my firstborn when he was only a few months old. We both looked great. I was slim and surprisingly pretty.
Yet, I am happy that I don't have to go through that whole youth thing again. I hear my 10-year-old grandson stress about friend issues. Today's news is all about a 16-year-old in Hamilton, Ontario who was knifed in front of his mother, the presumed end result of relentless bullying. I also know a few young girls who suffer from eating disorders. It seems that growing up has so many challenges that the young people aren't getting the chance to realize that "Youth is wonderful".
I am so happy that my children, now young adults, have made it past their teens. And, so far, they aren't addicted to drugs, booze, money, sex, over-spending or any other debilitating addiction. All three have found partners who fit in with their values and lifestyles. Now, I just have to start worrying about the next generation.
No thanks...I might have wrinkles, aches and pains, and graying hair, but I wouldn't swap that for another go at youth. No way. Being young is way too challenging.
Bottom line: I like being an ordinary OLD girl.
Youth is wonderful. Mom just gave me a picture of me and my firstborn when he was only a few months old. We both looked great. I was slim and surprisingly pretty.
Yet, I am happy that I don't have to go through that whole youth thing again. I hear my 10-year-old grandson stress about friend issues. Today's news is all about a 16-year-old in Hamilton, Ontario who was knifed in front of his mother, the presumed end result of relentless bullying. I also know a few young girls who suffer from eating disorders. It seems that growing up has so many challenges that the young people aren't getting the chance to realize that "Youth is wonderful".
I am so happy that my children, now young adults, have made it past their teens. And, so far, they aren't addicted to drugs, booze, money, sex, over-spending or any other debilitating addiction. All three have found partners who fit in with their values and lifestyles. Now, I just have to start worrying about the next generation.
No thanks...I might have wrinkles, aches and pains, and graying hair, but I wouldn't swap that for another go at youth. No way. Being young is way too challenging.
Bottom line: I like being an ordinary OLD girl.
Friday 12 July 2019
Beauty
Whenever I talk about our recent trip to the East Coast, I precede the word trip with the descriptor: 'whirlwind'. We drove a lot, saw a lot, ate a lot, visited a lot, and laughed a lot. Our friends did the planning and the driving, and my husband and I relaxed into the beauty of New Brunswick and Nova Scotia, without the tensions of figuring out how to get places.
The Cabot Trail, Peggy's Cove, Cape Enrage, St. Andrew's, covered bridges, ocean tides, east coast architecture, fishing and sailing boats -- all outstandingly beautiful. I snapped many pictures, trying to capture some of the awesomeness surrounding me.
But it is a different kind of beauty that struck me most. Everyone I met, whether someone addressing me as a tourist, or in casual conversation snatched during a walk, was unfailingly polite, interested, kind. One example was when we walked around the citadel in Halifax, we were talking about various excursions we had made or were planning to make. We moved to the side of the path as we heard the approach of a jogger. The jogger slowed down, asked us about our experience as tourists, and then walked alongside us to answer questions and provide insights about his city. Turns out he was the deputy chief of police! And he took the time to engage in conversation.
Yesterday, I was sharing some of my Down East experiences with a friend. She commented that she had loved the people she met. In particular, she felt trusted. There was an openness and innocence in the people she met.
Whether talking to the staff at Fort Louisbourg or the fisheries museum in Lunenburg, or the servers at restaurants, everyone I met was open, knowledgeable, and interested in both sharing and engaging. I felt like I was living a pre-cell-phone life, where cell phones seem to be used to avoid face-to-face engagement.
I guess this is nothing new really...taking about the beauty of the scenery and the people of the East Coast. But it bears revisiting and repeating. Ordinary observations from an ordinary girl.
The Cabot Trail, Peggy's Cove, Cape Enrage, St. Andrew's, covered bridges, ocean tides, east coast architecture, fishing and sailing boats -- all outstandingly beautiful. I snapped many pictures, trying to capture some of the awesomeness surrounding me.
But it is a different kind of beauty that struck me most. Everyone I met, whether someone addressing me as a tourist, or in casual conversation snatched during a walk, was unfailingly polite, interested, kind. One example was when we walked around the citadel in Halifax, we were talking about various excursions we had made or were planning to make. We moved to the side of the path as we heard the approach of a jogger. The jogger slowed down, asked us about our experience as tourists, and then walked alongside us to answer questions and provide insights about his city. Turns out he was the deputy chief of police! And he took the time to engage in conversation.
Yesterday, I was sharing some of my Down East experiences with a friend. She commented that she had loved the people she met. In particular, she felt trusted. There was an openness and innocence in the people she met.
Whether talking to the staff at Fort Louisbourg or the fisheries museum in Lunenburg, or the servers at restaurants, everyone I met was open, knowledgeable, and interested in both sharing and engaging. I felt like I was living a pre-cell-phone life, where cell phones seem to be used to avoid face-to-face engagement.
I guess this is nothing new really...taking about the beauty of the scenery and the people of the East Coast. But it bears revisiting and repeating. Ordinary observations from an ordinary girl.
Thursday 6 June 2019
What do I need?
I am resigning from a particular Board of Directors on October 1st and I have given my notice. I am resigning for a number of reasons, but these last few months help me to see the Board in a different way.
I am the secretary and I have another key role that involves hiring staff. It has been a real learning curve, and I feel that I have done a good job. However, the chair of the Board often ignores my ideas, or speaks crossly to me when I have a question or idea. She doesn't do this with everyone. On the agenda, it has always been quite obvious that she puts me last in the scheme of things, going so far as to try to put me off when I was requesting input for the Annual Meeting. If I said 'black', she would say 'white'. She enforces 'rules' with me that she does not expect from anyone else. For example, if I paid for advertising with my credit card and then asked to be reimbursed, I was chastised for doing something unprofessional. (I was never given any other option for paying though!) If I remind her that I should have signing authority at the bank as per the by-laws, she questions the by-laws and asks me to send her my copy because I must somehow have an old copy.
So, one good thing about my resignation will be that someone who can get along with her may step up and things will run more smoothly.
I can't help but wonder why this working relationship has dissolved. Would I have needed more charisma? A more confident, forceful personality?
This has happened to me before in other cases, and I really wonder what it is about me that ticks people off sometimes. I find this whole thing unfortunate because I have an impulse towards working for the best possible outcomes. Yet, the impulse does not yield to influence.
This ordinary girl feels a little like a failure, and I am wondering what I need to do or be in order to do good works in my sphere of influence.
I am the secretary and I have another key role that involves hiring staff. It has been a real learning curve, and I feel that I have done a good job. However, the chair of the Board often ignores my ideas, or speaks crossly to me when I have a question or idea. She doesn't do this with everyone. On the agenda, it has always been quite obvious that she puts me last in the scheme of things, going so far as to try to put me off when I was requesting input for the Annual Meeting. If I said 'black', she would say 'white'. She enforces 'rules' with me that she does not expect from anyone else. For example, if I paid for advertising with my credit card and then asked to be reimbursed, I was chastised for doing something unprofessional. (I was never given any other option for paying though!) If I remind her that I should have signing authority at the bank as per the by-laws, she questions the by-laws and asks me to send her my copy because I must somehow have an old copy.
So, one good thing about my resignation will be that someone who can get along with her may step up and things will run more smoothly.
I can't help but wonder why this working relationship has dissolved. Would I have needed more charisma? A more confident, forceful personality?
This has happened to me before in other cases, and I really wonder what it is about me that ticks people off sometimes. I find this whole thing unfortunate because I have an impulse towards working for the best possible outcomes. Yet, the impulse does not yield to influence.
This ordinary girl feels a little like a failure, and I am wondering what I need to do or be in order to do good works in my sphere of influence.
Friday 17 May 2019
Crippling Doubt
We have been told that critical thinking is good...It is a higher order of brain power. Journalists, critics, politicians, conversationalists all employ an analytical view of institutions and events.
The other day, while walking my dog, I heard sirens from the nearby fire station. Then I saw the truck racing by, lights flashing. I used to have a particular thought when I saw a firetruck, or ambulance, or police car. I used to be concerned for the person or persons in need of emergency help. I used to deliver a prayer that it was not one in my circle of family or friends, because I didn't want them to be suffering.
That is not my thought this particular day. Instead, I wondered if these first responders were actually going to do anything, besides spend taxpayer money, while they made a show of being there whereas it was really the also-responding ambulance or police who would be most necessary. I wondered if three sirenned vehicles would be necessary for this particular call. And couldn't some discernment take place at some level in the interest of efficiency.
Then I realized that I had lost faith in a basic community service. One that I used to teach about to Grade One students with a certain amount of reverence and respect. What happened?
I have begun to doubt our political institutions and parties, other community services, the motives of the very rich, the deception of the poor, and the strident demands of various ethnic groups. I even doubt aspects of my church. Doubt can produce anxiety, a sort of feeling of always trying to stand in a balanced way on sand that is continually shifting.
I run the risk of becoming crippled by my doubt when I lose balance on that shifting sand. Critical thinking has not been influenced by positive and loving action. Critical thinking has not led to individual responsibility and overall accountability. It just natters away, weakening our faith, and bruising our souls.
But there is nothing really wrong with thinking about things in an analytic or critical fashion. What's wrong is that we took a loving, selfless, inviting God out of the equation. We put ourselves in as the master thinkers.
Maybe it's time to change that, says this ordinary girl.
The other day, while walking my dog, I heard sirens from the nearby fire station. Then I saw the truck racing by, lights flashing. I used to have a particular thought when I saw a firetruck, or ambulance, or police car. I used to be concerned for the person or persons in need of emergency help. I used to deliver a prayer that it was not one in my circle of family or friends, because I didn't want them to be suffering.
That is not my thought this particular day. Instead, I wondered if these first responders were actually going to do anything, besides spend taxpayer money, while they made a show of being there whereas it was really the also-responding ambulance or police who would be most necessary. I wondered if three sirenned vehicles would be necessary for this particular call. And couldn't some discernment take place at some level in the interest of efficiency.
Then I realized that I had lost faith in a basic community service. One that I used to teach about to Grade One students with a certain amount of reverence and respect. What happened?
I have begun to doubt our political institutions and parties, other community services, the motives of the very rich, the deception of the poor, and the strident demands of various ethnic groups. I even doubt aspects of my church. Doubt can produce anxiety, a sort of feeling of always trying to stand in a balanced way on sand that is continually shifting.
I run the risk of becoming crippled by my doubt when I lose balance on that shifting sand. Critical thinking has not been influenced by positive and loving action. Critical thinking has not led to individual responsibility and overall accountability. It just natters away, weakening our faith, and bruising our souls.
But there is nothing really wrong with thinking about things in an analytic or critical fashion. What's wrong is that we took a loving, selfless, inviting God out of the equation. We put ourselves in as the master thinkers.
Maybe it's time to change that, says this ordinary girl.
Ordinary Senior
Today, I am not an ordinary girl at all, but an ordinary senior citizen, prone to forgetfulness and sometimes miscues.
I posted on Facebook about my daughter picking up her son from our house...but I posted the wrong name! I posted the 9-year-old's name rather than the baby's name.
Someone from a local church called me...twice...to book me to lead worship at his church. He asked me the same questions, and seemed to have forgotten the first call, when we actually did a couple of bookings.
My husband made himself a lunch today and headed off to our shore property. A little while later, I discovered that he had left the stove burner on.
I corrected an official's spelling of my last name, but tried to let them know that I wasn't upset about it....a miscue....They responded in a very defensive way.
Sigh. It will get worse. How's that for ordinary?
I posted on Facebook about my daughter picking up her son from our house...but I posted the wrong name! I posted the 9-year-old's name rather than the baby's name.
Someone from a local church called me...twice...to book me to lead worship at his church. He asked me the same questions, and seemed to have forgotten the first call, when we actually did a couple of bookings.
My husband made himself a lunch today and headed off to our shore property. A little while later, I discovered that he had left the stove burner on.
I corrected an official's spelling of my last name, but tried to let them know that I wasn't upset about it....a miscue....They responded in a very defensive way.
Sigh. It will get worse. How's that for ordinary?
Wednesday 20 March 2019
Wolves of Various Kinds
Babysitting our two grandkids was fun, rewarding, and turned out to have an interesting side effect. One night the three dogs kicked up quite a fuss. The next day, we discovered three deer carcasses in the back yard. The following days we were treated to a display of predatory birds chowing down -- including three bald eagles. It was quite fun to watch. Grandson number one took pictures of the dead deer (fascinated by the innards!). My husband snowshoed out to the scene of the crime and discovered many HUGE canine footprints. We are pretty sure it was wolves, not coyotes that did the deed.
That's one kind of wolf. The other is the people kind. Churches can attract all kinds of people, of course...and all should be welcome and feel loved. However, when some decide to cause trouble, and tell lies about others, it might be time to get tough. The perfect Christian world of my head and heart doesn't always exist in reality. So, I will spend less time with that wolf-in-sheep's-clothing. And time to not buy into that person's narrative.
I prefer the wild wolf variety. Although both cause pain and drama.
I'm having an ordinary girl reaction to difficult situations.
That's one kind of wolf. The other is the people kind. Churches can attract all kinds of people, of course...and all should be welcome and feel loved. However, when some decide to cause trouble, and tell lies about others, it might be time to get tough. The perfect Christian world of my head and heart doesn't always exist in reality. So, I will spend less time with that wolf-in-sheep's-clothing. And time to not buy into that person's narrative.
I prefer the wild wolf variety. Although both cause pain and drama.
I'm having an ordinary girl reaction to difficult situations.
Wednesday 20 February 2019
End of Freedom as I Know It
The title tells exactly how I feel, although there is a dollop of guilt added to that feeling. You see, I am soon to become the main babysitter for the grandkids, whom I love very much. But I will be sort of on-call...without being able to determine my own schedule. I think I'm being selfish here; hence the guilt.
When I retired, I made myself follow routines and schedules, which included going for breakfast with friends, working at a School Breakfast program, following a set schedule of volunteer duties, visiting Mom, and spending time with Grandkids. Then there was my little LLWL job and fitting in the time to write church services and then lead those same services. Soon I started to resent the schedule. I dropped a few things so that I could start each day in a slow and casual way, with as many cups of coffee as I could stomach.
I've enjoyed this version of the retired life. I started working one day a week (or less) at a shoe store. I do a couple of church services each month. I babysit when needed. But, at the moment, I have lots of time to read, catch up on t.v. shows and Netflix, participate in Bible studies and sometimes even go for supper or coffee with friends. It's a good life.
That changes next week. I have three invites for out-of-town events (pig-roast, wedding and family reunion), and I can't commit to any of them. I know kids grow up fast, and this will seem like the blink of an eye someday. And I am so lucky to be an important part of their lives. But there is still a little angst about this particular change in my life.
Love, child-care and guilt....My early days of parenthood all over again.
How's that for ordinary?
When I retired, I made myself follow routines and schedules, which included going for breakfast with friends, working at a School Breakfast program, following a set schedule of volunteer duties, visiting Mom, and spending time with Grandkids. Then there was my little LLWL job and fitting in the time to write church services and then lead those same services. Soon I started to resent the schedule. I dropped a few things so that I could start each day in a slow and casual way, with as many cups of coffee as I could stomach.
I've enjoyed this version of the retired life. I started working one day a week (or less) at a shoe store. I do a couple of church services each month. I babysit when needed. But, at the moment, I have lots of time to read, catch up on t.v. shows and Netflix, participate in Bible studies and sometimes even go for supper or coffee with friends. It's a good life.
That changes next week. I have three invites for out-of-town events (pig-roast, wedding and family reunion), and I can't commit to any of them. I know kids grow up fast, and this will seem like the blink of an eye someday. And I am so lucky to be an important part of their lives. But there is still a little angst about this particular change in my life.
Love, child-care and guilt....My early days of parenthood all over again.
How's that for ordinary?
Monday 28 January 2019
Extraordinary? Not a chance.
I did a Google search of blogs called "Just an ordinary girl" and there are a few. A few also go so far as to say they are tending to have an extraordinary life, and they post exotic pictures from around the world, and recount exciting events. Okay....that is not ordinary at all. I am ordinary!
I led worship at a two-point charge yesterday. The weather was bitterly cold but I was pleasantly surprised by the numbers of congregants at each church. We are tough in this northern clime!
I was quite nervous about the message, although parts of it really appealed to me (explaining 'bully pulpit', giving examples of not understanding something because of perspective). It dipped into politics a bit and I had been warned that some people, although we live in Canada, are strong supporters of the current American president. Also, I was going to hearken back to a controversial city council vote known as 'English only' that actually had people leave the church because they had interpreted the minister's message as 'taking sides', and to them...he was taking the wrong side!
So I was addressing all of this by countering it with the politics of Christ, and that is where our allegiance lies. I said that the church pulpit is not a place for personal political opinions. I would rather think it is a teaching platform, encouraging understanding and further study of Jesus' ministry so that people can apply those principles to their own lives and their demands of politicians. Sometimes, of course, that would mean becoming more politically involved...but I don't think that is something that comes from the pulpit! But it might be inspired from the pulpit.
Today, I finished the missing part of a grant application to support camp jobs. I lay in bed for a long time, fearing and dreading this task. And I prayed that God would help me have a better, more loving, more committed attitude to the task. And it worked! I got it done, and it wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be.
Cold, cold, cold today....minus 30 Celsius. I am drinking tea, wrapped in a blanket and about to head back to my book. (memoir by Nancy Reagan). It's better than being outside dwarfed by snowbanks!
How's that for ordinary?
I led worship at a two-point charge yesterday. The weather was bitterly cold but I was pleasantly surprised by the numbers of congregants at each church. We are tough in this northern clime!
I was quite nervous about the message, although parts of it really appealed to me (explaining 'bully pulpit', giving examples of not understanding something because of perspective). It dipped into politics a bit and I had been warned that some people, although we live in Canada, are strong supporters of the current American president. Also, I was going to hearken back to a controversial city council vote known as 'English only' that actually had people leave the church because they had interpreted the minister's message as 'taking sides', and to them...he was taking the wrong side!
So I was addressing all of this by countering it with the politics of Christ, and that is where our allegiance lies. I said that the church pulpit is not a place for personal political opinions. I would rather think it is a teaching platform, encouraging understanding and further study of Jesus' ministry so that people can apply those principles to their own lives and their demands of politicians. Sometimes, of course, that would mean becoming more politically involved...but I don't think that is something that comes from the pulpit! But it might be inspired from the pulpit.
Today, I finished the missing part of a grant application to support camp jobs. I lay in bed for a long time, fearing and dreading this task. And I prayed that God would help me have a better, more loving, more committed attitude to the task. And it worked! I got it done, and it wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be.
Cold, cold, cold today....minus 30 Celsius. I am drinking tea, wrapped in a blanket and about to head back to my book. (memoir by Nancy Reagan). It's better than being outside dwarfed by snowbanks!
How's that for ordinary?
Thursday 24 January 2019
Musings from an ordinary girl turned old goat
What was I thinking to call this 'just an ordinary girl'? What dream was I dreaming to call myself a girl??? I have graying hair, an expanding waist, two grand kids, and more years behind me than ahead of me.
But I am ordinary.
Right now I'm worried about all of the ordinary older people like me that keep our churches going. Where are the young people? They tend to go for the evangelical, not main-stream churches.
This is interesting: I went to a church with some young people last summer and they explained that they like it because the minister deals with real life stuff, even internet and social media.
Well, I am a Licensed Lay Worship Leader for The United Church of Canada. I am often talking about real life stuff, connecting scripture to our political world, our everyday cares, our joys and our sorrows.
Next Sunday, I address a misconception I had about the term 'bully pulpit' based on how the term is currently being used, or misused.
I have delivered some sermons that people really like, but they are to congregations of 9 to 40 people. I really want to instil hope, and faith, believing as I do that our Christian faith can offer the hope, faith and guidance our young people (and old ordinary girls like me) desperately need.
So...why do people stay away from church? I find it uplifting and inspiring. Yes, sometimes the people are hurtful or thoughtless...Any group of people runs the risk of discord. But the higher calling that God provides helps us get over that.
Just the musings of an old goat, who pretends to be an ordinary girl.
How's that for ordinary?
But I am ordinary.
Right now I'm worried about all of the ordinary older people like me that keep our churches going. Where are the young people? They tend to go for the evangelical, not main-stream churches.
This is interesting: I went to a church with some young people last summer and they explained that they like it because the minister deals with real life stuff, even internet and social media.
Well, I am a Licensed Lay Worship Leader for The United Church of Canada. I am often talking about real life stuff, connecting scripture to our political world, our everyday cares, our joys and our sorrows.
Next Sunday, I address a misconception I had about the term 'bully pulpit' based on how the term is currently being used, or misused.
I have delivered some sermons that people really like, but they are to congregations of 9 to 40 people. I really want to instil hope, and faith, believing as I do that our Christian faith can offer the hope, faith and guidance our young people (and old ordinary girls like me) desperately need.
So...why do people stay away from church? I find it uplifting and inspiring. Yes, sometimes the people are hurtful or thoughtless...Any group of people runs the risk of discord. But the higher calling that God provides helps us get over that.
Just the musings of an old goat, who pretends to be an ordinary girl.
How's that for ordinary?
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