The title tells exactly how I feel, although there is a dollop of guilt added to that feeling. You see, I am soon to become the main babysitter for the grandkids, whom I love very much. But I will be sort of on-call...without being able to determine my own schedule. I think I'm being selfish here; hence the guilt.
When I retired, I made myself follow routines and schedules, which included going for breakfast with friends, working at a School Breakfast program, following a set schedule of volunteer duties, visiting Mom, and spending time with Grandkids. Then there was my little LLWL job and fitting in the time to write church services and then lead those same services. Soon I started to resent the schedule. I dropped a few things so that I could start each day in a slow and casual way, with as many cups of coffee as I could stomach.
I've enjoyed this version of the retired life. I started working one day a week (or less) at a shoe store. I do a couple of church services each month. I babysit when needed. But, at the moment, I have lots of time to read, catch up on t.v. shows and Netflix, participate in Bible studies and sometimes even go for supper or coffee with friends. It's a good life.
That changes next week. I have three invites for out-of-town events (pig-roast, wedding and family reunion), and I can't commit to any of them. I know kids grow up fast, and this will seem like the blink of an eye someday. And I am so lucky to be an important part of their lives. But there is still a little angst about this particular change in my life.
Love, child-care and guilt....My early days of parenthood all over again.
How's that for ordinary?
